Finding Fanfiction
by The Winter Wizard
Summary: How would various Lord of the Rings characters react to finding fanfiction - or rather different pairings in the romance genre? R&R to find out! Pairings accepted.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _The Lord of the Rings_. *sobs*

**Author's Note:** I know this has been done before, but this is my twist on the fanfic where characters from the LOTR's discover different romance stories and pairings in fanfiction. They're mainly from this site since I am fed up every single girl being paired with poor Legolas (no offence) even from crossovers with other novels, and some of the slash is a little disturbing. It's not meant to be mean though, just humorous and this was inspired by a similar one done to Harry Potter by . It's called Reactions and is awesome! You should really check it out. Moving on, here's the first chapter...

**Chapter One:**

~ AragornXArwen ~

Elrond: ARAGORN!

Aragorn: *scrambles over to computer*

Elrond: Did you do this with Arwen?

Aragorn: *scratches head in confusion* Is that position even _possible_?

Arwen: _Slap!_

~ AragornXEowyn ~

Eowyn: *blushes* Am I really that much of a Mary Sue?

Eomer: *glares at computer* Of course not, dear! ... BUT WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

Aragorn: Um, I'll just be leaving now...

Arwen: _Slap!_

~ LegolasXOC ~

Legolas: Oh, dear gods no! I'm too young to die! *sobs and wails*

Aragorn: Wow, friend! You're quite the player.

Thrandiul (Legolas's dad): Actually, I find them quite amusing really. If it weren't for the teeny-tiny fact that you just happen to be...THE PRINCE OF MIRKWOOD!

Legolas: *stammering* Dad please, I don't even know all these girls!

Boromir: *giggles* Chortle, chortle! He, he, he...

Merry: *asks innocently* Hey, Boromir...

Boromir: *suddenly suspicious* Yes?

Merry: I thought you liked girls.

Boromir: Duh, of course I do!

Merry: *arches an eyebrow* Then why are you sleeping in a cave with Aragorn?

Boromir: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *faints dead way*

Merry: Oops!

Pippin: You always have to look! Why do you always have to look?

~ FrodoXOC ~

Frodo: *blushes*

Sam: Wow, master! You really like a lot of pretty girls, don't you. Wait, I thought you didn't take any girl on our quest to defeat the ring.

Frodo: Of course we didn't.

Sam: Then... *points at computer*

Frodo: *reads fanfiction with OC joining the Fellowship* GANDALF!

Gandalf: *puffs pipe innocently and studies the stars*

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N: **Well, there's chapter 1. The next few chapters should come quickly but will most likely be about all the slash and femlash stories that are out there. Not that I don't like them (well some of the slash, yes) but I thought this would be kind of funny if you know what I mean. So do tell how I'm doing, and I accept pairing suggestions.

And of course, R&R please!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** See chapter one! *pouts*

**Author's Note:** I decided to pump out the next chapter, since I'm kind of on a role here but pairings are still accepted and appreciated. Next, I'd like to thank each and everyone who reviews this fic even if there's not much to review. I appreciate it all the same and thoroughly enjoy reading your feedback. And as I said prior, more couples are always accepted since I want to write as much of this as possible. So now without any further ado, allow me to present you with the latest episode of Finding Fanfiction...

**Chapter Two:**

~ LegolasXAragorn ~

Aragorn: *snogs Arwen senseless*

Arwen: *all dazed* What was that for?

Aragorn: *winces* Um, you really, really don't wanna read this.

Legolas: Why? *reads fanfiction of LegolasXAragorn* *faints with a look of disgust mingled with horror*

Arwen: *reads computer*

Aragorn: *chanting _I am not gay! I am not gay! I am not gay!_

Arwen: _Slap!_

~ LegolasXBoromir ~

Boromir: *grimaces* How does this even make sense? I barely said ten words to the elf!

Legolas: Let's not even start talking about how I would never, ever mate with a human...no offence, really...

Boromir: None taken! *throws up lunch*

Legolas: *reads fanfic Boromir was reading* I think I'm going to be sick...

Boromir: *groans in pain* Tell me about it!

~ BoromirXAragorn ~

Aragorn: *lamenting* Why did I ever try to rescue you from those Orcs? Now these tormenters have another excuse!

Arwen: That was rude!

Boromir: *glares at fanfiction* I want to punch something right now...

Legolas: *chortle, chortle*

Boromir: *unnervingly smug* Hey, Legolas! Wait till you see the one with you and Gandalf!

Legolas: *faints*

~ GandalfXAragorn ~

**A/N**: Yes! I actually found one. Disturbing, no?

Gandalf: *blows up computer with magic staff*

Aragorn: No offence, Gandalf. But we really aren't that close.

Gandalf: I am not talking to you right now! Fool of a Took!

Pippin: Hey!

~ MerryXPippin ~

Merry: Yuck! These authors are really, really perverted.

Pippin: That's an understatement! We're more like brothers if anything.

Boromir: *rubs hands together in glee* Payback time for those AragornXBoromir comments!

Merry and Pippin: Hobbits unite! Let us fight against this monster!

Hobbits: Attack!

Boromir: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *runs away from horde of angry hobbits*

~ SamXFrodo ~

Sam: Hey, Frodo? 

Frodo: Yeah?

Sam: Do you mind if I don't call you master anymore?

Frodo: Sure, pal. Always wondered why you did it anyways.

Sam: *points to computer screen with fanfiction in disgust*

Frodo: Valar help me!

Sam: *pukes on fanfiction*

~ ArwenXEowyn ~

Aragorn: Hey, Arwen? 

Arwen: Yes

Aragorn: Have you ever been attracted to Eowyn?

Arwen: *pukes*

Aragorn: *smirks and shows fanfiction to Arwen*

Arwen: These authors shall know the fury of the elves!

Aragorn: Good idea!

~ AragornXGaladriel ~

Aragorn: I HATE FANFICTION!

Galadriel: *sighs sadly* Why must these authors try to unknowingly incur our wrath?

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N:** Well there you have it. Chapter 2 is completed and chapter 3 is on its way! Like it? Love it? Hate it? Leave a review and let me know so that I can make this better yet!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** See chapter one! *glares sullenly at chapter one*

**Author's Note:** Hi ya'll! First off, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your pairings and reviews. I really, really appreciate them! Next, I implore you to review *gets on hands and knees and begs* simply because I am running out of pairing ideas and I would really like to write more chapters of this. But if worst comes to worst, then I will branch out into other novels such as _The Inheritance Cycle _(otherwise known as the Eragon Series) as well as _Percy Jackson and the Olympians_, for example. So without further ado, I present you chapter 3 of Finding Fanfiction...

**Chapter Three:**

~ GlimlyXLegolas ~ {as suggested by Aya Toshu – many thanks for the review!}

Glimly: I very clearly said – Never toss a dwarf! Need I say more?

Legolas: *sighs sadly with pained look on face* These fanfiction authors really don't know the difference between friendship and love, do they?

Glimly: Aye! And it makes me sick!

Legolas: *runs away knowing how bad things can get when Glimly says that*

Glimly: *raises battle axe with a roar and chops computer in half* Good! *smirks* I feel much better now.

~ ThrandiulXElrond ~ {as suggested by Duilin – many thanks for your review!}

Elrond: *facepalms* I already got permanently scarred by reading those scandalous fanfictions between Aragorn and my daughter. Why must they torment me further?

Thrandiul: *mutters curse words from a throw-up bucket*

Elrond: Hmm...Methinks this warrants a kindly visit to our dear fanfiction friends. *gets evil glint in eye*

Fanfiction Author: *suddenly wakes up in the middle of the night screaming head off after nightmare of being hacked to pieces by Elrond and Thrandiul*

Thrandiul: *remarks to Elrond after Elrond gives fanfiction author the nightmare* Now, _that_ really is the best medicine ever!

Elrond: I know, right? *grins smugly*

~ GimliXFrodo ~ {as suggested by fsty – many thanks for your review!}

Frodo: When will these freaks ever learn?

Gimli: The freaks shall know the righteous wrath of the dwarves!

Frodo: Don't forget the hobbits! Hobbits can be right bastards when angry.

Gimli: *after reading fanfiction* Oh, perish the thought! *shudders*

~ GollumXFrodo ~

Gollum: *shrieks* CURSE YOU BAGGINS!

Frodo: For once, I actually agree with you. These authors are disgusting.

Sam: *acts all smug* Serves you right for tramping off with that creature *chortle, chortle*

Frodo: *whistles innocently while admiring Sting*

Sam: *gulps* Um, I think I have some gardening to do. Bye, Mr. Frodo! 

Frodo: *giggles*

~ FrodoXArwen ~

Frodo: *buries face in hands and sobs* Why is it always ME?

Aragorn: *gets all jealous* Yes, I would like to know that too!

Arwen: Do not worry, dear. I have no feelings for Frodo.

Frodo: Yeah, I know. Being short and having hairy feet is a big attraction to the ladies right?

Arwen: *giggles*

Aragorn: *blushes* Oh...

**To Be Continued!**

**A/N:** Well, I hope I can continue this. Once again, this fanfic can only go on if I get more reviews as I haven't read LOTR's fanfiction in quite some time resulting in a lack of pairings. I thought there were tons, but it seems like I've got them all covered. Well stay tuned anyways as there's a chance I might continue this. If not, look for something similar on my profile except that it's in another novel series.

See ya! ;-)


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer:** Don't wanna say it! Look at chapter one.

**Author's Note:** Here's a special thank you to fsty for being one faithful reviewer! *stands up and applauds fsty* And, of course, I do appreciate all the other comments and reviews. As always, more pairings are acceptable. So without further ado, here's the next chapter! By the way, all pairings in this chapter have been suggested by fsty, so do give this reviewer one awesome thanks. 

**Chapter Four:**

~ DenethorXGandalf ~

Denethor: I hate wizards! *goes in corner and sulks*

Gandalf: I think I've had enough of fanfiction. Denethor and I were practically enemies.

Denethor: I know, right? Makes you wonder if these authors have any sense at all! *growls in frustration*

~ WitchkingXArwen ~

Witchking: *shrieks in horror and self destructs*

Arwen: That has got to be the weirdest pairing yet! Sure he sent the Nazgul after me but that was only in the films and not the books, so I don't see how that makes any sense.

Eowyn: *mutters* Tell me about it!

~ SamXGollum ~

Sam: Hey, Mr. Frodo?

Frodo: Yeah?

Sam: Can I borrow Sting for a moment?

Frodo: Sure, here.

Sam: Thanks! *takes Sting and stabs self in the heart*

Gollum: *jumps up and down in glee* The precious! The precious! The precious!

Frodo: *taps Gollum on the shoulder* Why don't you read what Sam just read?

Gollum: *gulps* Yes master! *reads fanfiction* CURSE YOU BAGGINS! *jumps off cliff into the Cracks of Doom*

Frodo: Why must authors be so stupid? *facepalms*

~ SarumanXTreebeard ~

Treebeard: Tiss not an Entwife is it? I really miss me Entwives.

Saruman: Aaaaaaaaaah! *throws self out of tower*

Treebeard: *smirking* Guess not!

~ LegolasXEowyn ~

Legolas: *weeps bitterly* Why me? Why is it always me? 

Eowyn: *clings to Eomer for dear life* Heeeeeeeeelp!

Legolas: Oh that I had never left Mirkwood!

Aragorn: *snicker, snicker* *chortle, chortle*

**To Be Continued!**

**A/N:** And there you have it! As always, review, review, review and leave a pairing or two if you want another chapter. Methinks it's high time to visit the Percy Jackson universe since there are all sorts of freaky pairings there. As always, my visit depends on comments and pairings.

So R&R, please!

**This piece of fanfiction is brought to you by...**

**...**_**The Winter Wizard**_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer:** Remember what I said last time around? Same rules apply.

**Author's Note:** Here's a HUGE thank-you to everyone who kindly reviewed and offered pairings. I had to take a short break since this because I was running out of things for them to say, but now I think I'm back on track. Still, as rude and stupid as this sounds (do forgive me) pairings are put on hold now since I would really, really like to see your genuine feedback on this thing and I got a whole bunch of pairings. Thanks for them though, and I will try to write them all down. But for now, I would really appreciate it if you could tell me what you think of these past few chapters instead of couples, for now anyways. That would be awesome!

Anyhow, here's a quick announcement that all these pairings are from Carlybell – many thanks for your review.

**Chapter Five:**

~ FaramirXArwen ~

Arwen: *sighs dramatically* I really don't see how this would work as we haven't even ... MET BEFORE!

Faramir: *shudders at Arwen's wrath* Talk about it! It's like these freaks have a death wish or something.

Aragorn: Yeah, care to explain that? *waves hand in front of fanfiction*

Faramir: *whimpers in fear* Well, some lonely nerds think that I'd be all angsty because I couldn't go on the quest so I'd somehow meet Arwen and she'd be all angsty that you went off with Eowyn and then they think we could be angsty together."

Aragorn: *growls threateningly while clutching his sword*

Faramir: *sweating buckets full* Or they think that father might have wanted Boromir to stay behind and me to take his place, to get killed and all. Instead, I go to Rivendell and meet Arwen then – _viola!_

Arwen: Calm down Aragorn, can't you see how freaked out he is?

Aragorn: *calmly unsheathes his sword*

Faramir: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *runs away*

Aragorn: *cracks up laughing, slapping his leg in the process* You should have seen his face!

Arwen: *glaring daggers* That was rude!

Aragorn: *sighs* *chortle, chortle*

~ FaramirXEowyn ~

Faramir: *grinning like a fool while reading fanfiction*

Eowyn: Just what do you think you're reading?

Faramir: *looks confused* Huh?

Eowyn: *points at computer*

Faramir: Oh! I think it's an awesome story! Wanna join me?

Eowyn: _*_face gets red with anger*

Faramir: *obliviously* Maybe we can take turns reading, ya know? Act parts out?

Eowyn: _Slap!_

~ FaramirXBoromir ~ (I agree with you, friend – yuck!)

Boromir: Daddy!

Denethor: What is it favourite son of mine?

Boromir: *sobbing and clutching heart in pain* Look... *points to computer screen*

Denethor: *fuming* FARAMIR!

Faramir: *runs quickly still dizzy from Eowyn's slap*

Denethor: WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS DEVILRY?

Faramir: Huh? What? Oh! *faints in disgust and horror*

Boromir: *collapses from strain of heart attack*

Denethor: *facepalms* What is wrong with me that I had to be cursed with these imbeciles?

~ FaramirXLegolas ~

Legolas: I'm sorry, but do I even know you?

Faramir: ...

~ FaramirXFrodo ~

Frodo: *panics* I said you were a brave man and all but I didn't mean that!

Faramir: *bashes head on the table repeatedly in Dobby-the-House-Elf-style*

Frodo: *muttering to self* Great! Just great!

~ FaramirXSam ~

Sam: What the hell? I thought he was gonna turn on us all the time, Mr. Frodo! It wasn't sexual tension!

Frodo: *nodding sympathetically* I know, Sam, I know.

Faramir: *giggling insanely* Maybe if I went with _you_ to Mordor instead of Baggins here, you would be calling _me_ Master instead!

Sam: *faints*

Frodo: Ah, I think I want to see what Merry and Pippin are up to. See ya!

~ FaramirXGollum ~

Gollum: *hissing in anger* Manling was hurting us, precious! He stole our fish from us! We does not love him, precious! _Gollum! Gollum!_

Faramir: I always thought you were an enemy. Then again *gets cheeky grin* maybe that wasn't the reason why I was watching you at the pool...

Gollum: *shrieks in horror* Save us, Master Frodo! Save us!

~ FaramirXAragorn ~

Faramir: *giggles*

Aragorn: Are you alright, Steward?

Merry: Don't worry about him. It's all the slash fanfiction making him crazy.

Aragorn: *sighs sadly and nods head* Oh, yes. I see what you mean.

Pippin: *wipes a tear from cheek* He will be missed.

~ FaramirXGandalf ~

Gandalf: *is walking to meeting with Denethor*

Faramir: Hey Gandalf! I know how much pent up anger you must have these days after the meetings with my dad.

Gandalf: *looks surprised then appreciative* Thank you, friend. I appreciate the sentiment.

Faramir: I just thought that maybe I could hold your staff for a bit while you take a break.

Gandalf: *roar* *knocks Faramir out with a bang on the head* Good. Hope that'll knock some sense into him!

~ FaramirXElrond ~

Faramir: *running along side Elrond* Hey, buddy! 

Elrond: *looks affronted but pauses* Yes? 

Faramir: It's just that I've been reading these awesome stories, see. And I was wondering if...

Elrond: *thanks to vision of the future knows what Faramir is going to say* Don't even think of it! *punch*

Faramir: Ah, bummer! *faints from punch*

~ FaramirXGaladriel ~

Faramir: Hey Galadriel, ya know when you gave everyone gifts that time.

Galadriel: *gets apprehensive* Yes?

Faramir: Well I was wondering if you could give me one and it could be... *leans over and whispers into Galadriel's ear*

Galadriel: _SLAP!_

~ FaramirXGimli ~

Faramir: *giggle* *chortle* *giggle, giggle*

Gimli: Don't say it! *runs away in fear*

Merry: *looking worriedly at Pippin* Yeah, it's definitely the slash. Going to his head poor fellow.

Pippin: *looks horrified* Sounds about right! I think we should ban him from the computer.

Faramir: *giggling* Say, Merry? Which head did it go to?

Merry & Pippin: *look at each other in wide-eyed fear* Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *run for their lives*

Faramir: *giggles*

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N: **Okay, just so that you guys know I do not find Faramir slash appealing and I really didn't mean to go so far but I couldn't help it and the chapter just wrote itself. It's just that I really felt the need to torment Faramir some more so you could say that all the slash made him go crazy

**Faramir:** Don't forget what you promised!

**Me:** Oh, yeah, right. I almost did. Faramir wanted me to say that if you don't review then he will be permanently insane.

**Faramir:** So please review guys as I want to get back to normal fast! *giggles*

**Me:** *shudders in fear* Me too!

**Faramir:** *giggles*


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer:** Tolkien owns all, knows all, sees all. In fact, he's probably rolling over in his grave because of this stuff.

**ATTENTION:** The following and previous chapters that make fun of slash are NOT meant to be offensive to *ahem* gay people or anything like that. Sorry if I come across as rude and prude, but this is just to cast some humour on the usually very stressful and angsty slash fics that have come to pollute our beloved Lord of the Rings genre. I really wonder what Tolkien would think of all these fanfics. *sighs sadly* Moving on...

**Author's Note:** Thanks guys, you rock! I really appreciate your reviews and so does Faramir.

**Faramir:** Amen to that! I feel another bout of giggles coming on, so I'll just make this quick – Pairings are accepted, but reviews are better or an equal balance of the two. And thanks for worrying about my *gulp* condition, I feel loved! ~ _Faramir signing out_

**Me:** Well, you heard him! The key factor here is reviews as I basically did all the main ones. I will try to fit in your pairings as best as I can but do forgive me if I don't get them all. Moving on, here is a list of people this chapter is dedicated to Warriormaid and sassyfriend since it's their pairings. Thanks for the reviews all! So now without further ado, here is the said chapter...

**Chapter Six:**

~ SarumanXGandalf ~ {Not sure if I did this before but anyhow...}

Saruman: PATHETIC HOBBIT-LOVING WIZARD! How dare you freaks even think to suggest such an abomination?

Gandalf: *sighs* I am not gay for Hobbits, nor for you Saruman. Do not get so excited!

Saruman: *pukes* I am NOT excited, fool!

Gandalf: *strokes beard thoughtfully* Well if you weren't gay then why were you going on about one master and lord and all that stuff, huh?

Saruman: *eyes widen in shock and horror at realisation* Aaaaaaaaaaaaah! *throws self off tower onto wheel spike and dies*

Gandalf: *winces* Oops! Didn't mean to go that far. Then again...

~ BoromirXFrodo ~

Frodo: *yanks out Sting* Is _that_ why you were stalking me, freak?

Boromir: _Hells,_ no! I wanted the ring stupid!

Frodo: Why, freak? Because you thought it looked like a wedding ring and wanted to propose?

Boromir: *faints in shock and horror*

Frodo: *snickers* Good!

~ PippinXFrodo ~

Frodo: *stares up beseechingly at the heavens* Why must the Valar punish me so? What wrong have I done?

Pippin: *muttering from throw-up bucket* These fan-girls are scary!

Frodo: *shivers in fear and nods in agreement*

~ MerryXPippin ~

Merry: DIDN'T WE ALREADY SEE THIS ONE ALREADY?

Pippin: Why are these sick fan-girls so crazed about gay hobbits?

Merry: I know, right? I'm not against gays or anything but gay _hobbits_? That's just sad!

Pippin: *sighs sadly and shakes head* What is the world coming to these days?

~ PippinXGandalf ~

Faramir: *giggling insanely* Hey, Gandalf?

Gandalf: *suddenly suspicious* Yes?

Faramir: Is that why you went for a ride with Pippin?

Gandalf: *roars and punches Faramir in the face* FOOL of a Took!

Pippin: Hey!

~ FaramirXBoromir ~

Boromir: And I thought there was a fate worse than death!

Faramir: But how can you say that when you are dead already?

Boromir: *shudders* I don't know! It's these creepy fan-girl stalkers who bring me back to life with the dark arts of necromancy to screw my younger brother. Fanfiction should _not_ be legal!

Faramir: *nods furiously* Never has ever a truer word been said!

Denethor: *facepalms*

~ BoromirXDenethor ~

Boromir: Hey dad?

Denethor: *starts dreading question* Um, yeah?

Boromir: Can you kill me before you try to burn Faramir? Please?

Denethor: But you're already dead!

Boromir: *points to fanfiction* Maybe if I get burned then they can't keep resurrecting me for this torture.

Denethor: *stares at computer in terror* Holy cow! *gags to death*

Boromir: *pouts* Great! _Now_ how can I get killed already? Wait! That's it!

Crazy Fan-girl Typing on Computer: Bwahahahaha! Soon I shall have one hundred and fifty reviews on my story and this fanfiction shalt be known as the best slash ever!

Boromir: *taps girl on shoulder*

Fan-girl: *turns around*

Boromir: *boo!*

Fan-girl: *thinks Boromir is an evil ghost come to haunt her* Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! *faints*

Boromir: *gets all smug* Couldn't have said that better myself! *strolls away whistling*

**To Be Continued...**

**A/N: **

**Boromir: **Well, you know the rules folks! My poor bro won't be able to get back to normal if you don't review even if you think this story's crap. The Winter Wizard really appreciates and values your feedback!

**Faramir:** That's right! As you can see, I'm not so crazy in this story but all the OOC'ness, AU, and slash in fanfiction is driving me mad and making me slowly but surely insane.

**Boromir:** So if you want the blessings of Valar and all the other gods upon you...

**Faramir: **...Then comment like there's no tomorrow!

**Boromir:** Amen to that!

**Me:** Okay guys, stop being cheesy! Still, what they said is true as I thrive on reviews and this chapter only came about because of them since all the main pairings I wanted to do have been written already. So if you have a favourite pairing then post it along with a comment on your opinion, and I'll try to put it in the next chapter. And, as always...

...Stay tuned!


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